All right. I needed diversion and maybe this will make you smile, too.

I’m not taking part in the Romance Bingo (hosted across several platforms by  the awesome Bookish Pursuits) but I love reading everyone’s updates and look forward to those fab bingo cards being filled in. Also, I keep wondering about whether whichever book I’m reading would fit into any of the categories. And then it hit me hard:

While reading the latest James Bond – On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – I kept picturing the bingo card and kept filling in different categories, which leads me to this:

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service expressed in Romance Bingo markers.


Are you ready for some VERY tenuous links between the bingo categories and the book???

1. Insta-love – Check!
I’m not sure which one to give you here Bond or Tracey, but Tracey – in a suicidal mood – pretty much decides that Bond is the one man who can save her after they spend an hour (that is one hour) in bed together. Btw, that hour happens within a short time of them exchanging their first words with each other. I’m sure no one is shocked by this – this is Fleming after all.

2. TSTL – Nope.
(Inconceivable, I know, but there are no TSTL characters in this one. Apart from the girl with the chicken allergy maybe. I’m giving her the benefit of my doubt, tho. She may have had hidden depths. We never get to find out.)

3. “Headless” Woman – Nope.
(Again, chicken lady notwithstanding…)

4. Love is Murder – Check! Check! Check!
It’s very dramatic and very sad. If you’ve seen the film, you’ll know that there is no happy ending.

5. New Adult – Nope.
(Thankfully, the genre wasn’t in vogue when Fleming wrote this.)

6. Young AdultNope.
(Again, thankfully so.)

7. Regency Romance Nope.
(Although, the idea would have been fun…)

8. Eyeshadow and Heaving Bosom Nope.
(Unless, I’ve missed this. Hm…)

9. Virgin – Best First Time – Check!
Ok, tenous, because as we know neither Bond nor Tracy are virgins but there is a bizarre scene where Tracy wishes she had been one for Bond. I cringed so hard at that but Fleming just was full of such lines…

10. Gothic Romance – Nope.
(Again, this might have been fun.)

11. Blown Away – Check!
Most absolutely! There is action in this one and it is practically choc-a-bloc with “tremendous explosions”, one of which has Bond hurl “forward and sideways in a Catherine wheel of sticks and skis.”

12. Man in a Kilt – Check!
This one is tenuous again. This is the book where we find out that Bond is half Scottish. Also, he gets to impersonate a Scot. However, unlike in the film, there is no mention of Bond wearing a kilt. On the other hand, it is nigh impossible to read this book and not picture him wearing one. So, I’d say it qualifies.

13. LOVE – Check!
In their own stupid ways Bond and Tracy are in love.

14. Rogue – Check!
Erm, Bond. You have met Bond, right?

15. Historical Romance –  Nope.
(There is some genealogy and heraldry as part of the plot, but it isn’t a historical romance as such.)

16. Secret Billionaire – Check!
Ah, but you see this one is interesting. When Bond first meets Tracy, she’s broke and in debt with the casino. This would make her a social pariah but Bond steps in just in time to save her from the social disgrace. A few pages later, we learn that Tracy’s father is a millionaire and she wasn’t broke after all. (It’s more complicated but you get the idea…)

17. Twins – Check!
(Again, I am thankful that Fleming did not get to write about twins in this.)

18. Fairy Tale Retelling – Check! Check! Check!
Bond as knight in (and out of) shiny armor rescuing the princess (or, in this case, Comtesse Teresa di Vicenzo) is the main theme of this book!

19. Wedding Bells – Check! Check! Check!
This famously is the book where Bond gets married.

20. Second Chances -Check!
The first encounter of Bond and Tracy does not go well. They do end up in bed together, but this means little. (This is Bond we are talking about.) It takes both of them a second encounter to warm to each other.

21. Key to my Heart – Check!
As we know, Bond loves a woman who can drive a car. In this book, it is Tracy’s driving skills that instantly attract Bond to her. It is quite a cute scene.

22. Pirates Argh – Check!
A little tenuous, but I cannot help picturing Draco’s henchmen as pirates. They are Sicilian and connected with the mafia, but in my mind they are pirates. At least, they conduct their business affairs in a similar style to what pirates did.

23. Guy/Girl Next Door – Nope.

24. Interracial Couple – Nope.

25. Urban Fantasy Romance – Nope.
(Again, it would have been fun…)

So close but no bingo. 😦

Still, I kinda wish the card had been around when we started the Bond Buddy Read, but it may have given the impression that I was not taking Bond seriously. Which, erm, of course, I am.

Btw, I am still stewing over the actual review of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. It just needs a little more thought…